The Modern Christmas Story

Once there was a millionaire called Mary who was married to a movie star called Joseph.

One day Mary was loungeing around when she felt her tummy lurch. “Oh my God, I’m having a baby!!”
Then a dude appereared and said “Don’t  use Big G’s name in vain, it’s, like, not cool. Also your having his son so show him some respect!”

Mary was so shocked she fainted and when she woke she saw Jospeh looking over her. “I’m having a baby Joe…”

“Well I’ve just had an e-mail saying that we need to go back to Bethlehem cause our not cool King Harod said I need to go back to the place  I was born.”

An hour later Mary and Joe were on the M25 to Bethlehem stuck in traffic. Mary got bored aned texted her best friends from Uni, known as the three Kings.

They got the message while playing a game of baseball. “I suppose we should go,” the oldest brother said and they all jumped into there spotted mini and drove to Bethlehem too.
10 hours later Mary and Joe finally got to Bethlehem. It took forever cause a lorry exploded on the motorway.  It was night time when they arrived at the Hilton hotel and they were so late their room had been booked. The hotel owner was very kind and said Mary and Joe could stay in the lobby for a bit.

Mary lay on the sofa when her water broke! “I’M HAVING THE BABY!!!!!!!! HELP ME JOEEE!”
Joe was sweating so much he fainted again. But a rock band called “The Angel’s” were playing in the lobby and sung Mary songs to help her.

Soon after the baby, who Mary had called Jesus, for some weird reason, the Three Kings appeared. “Sorry bout that,” they said, “We had to go to “The Entertainer” to buy giftas and then the SatNav drove us into a ditch”.

by Molly Turrell