The Modern Christmas Story

As the virgin Mary lay in the hospital on the 25th December 2010, giving birth to her baby boy, Jesus, she thought back to a few months ago, when she first found about her son, she had been daydreaming about her husband Joseph and what to get him for their first anniversary, an iPhone 4, a Blackberry, or an Apple Mac, when an angel came to her, and told her about how Jesus is God's only son and that he had picked her to raise him.

A few hours later...

Jesus, he was so cute, her and Joseph lay there, thinking of when Joseph had first found out about Jesus, Mary had told him and he was worried, and then that angel had come to him to tell him not to worry and embrace Jesus.

Since then things had changed, they had, Three Wise Men and even Shepherds come to praise Jesus. The Shepherds had come first; they apparently had been visited by an angel telling them to come to this hospital in London. They had driven in their Ferraris to get here as soon as possible and give money and livestock to Jesus.

The Wise Men (Or Scientists) had been surfing the web when the screen had flashed and a voice was heard, "Go to London and go to the hospital, there you will find my son, a King, the King of the Jews." So the scientists had set off, with gifts of money, gold, and iTunes vouchers, and hired private jets, to take them from the USA to the UK.

When they arrived they bought a Lamborghini, and raced off to the Palace, where they would ask Queen Elizabeth if she knew anything, there she had thought this new king may take away her throne. She told them to return when they had found the baby so that she could go and worship the child herself.

When the scientists arrived they saw the young boy, they lay down their gifts, and Mary wrapped him in £500 notes, the scientists praised Jesus and when they left, found their car stolen, so one of the men, took out his LG, and was soon boarding a helicopter!

So Mary, Joseph and Jesus all left to hire a car to Birmingham, as the day drew to a close, they all went and stayed at the nearest decent hotel. Later in her dreams, Mary had dream that an angel came to her and told her to go to Egypt until further notice.

Meanwhile...

The scientists were on their way to tell Queen Elizabeth where Jesus was when they were visited by an angel, telling them not to go to Elizabeth and continue to  America a different route. So they did. But when Queen Elizabeth found out that they weren’t coming, she decided to kill all the baby-boys, born within three months of the day.

Three years later, the Queen died and Mary, Joseph and Jesus were notified of this, they then carried on raising Jesus.

by Kieyan Chauhan