The Modern Christmas Story

One snowy day in England a young man called Joseph was walking slowly through the ice covered path looking for a present for his girlfriend Mary, he looked through every window looking for the perfect gift for his sweetheart when suddenly he walked by a jewellers store and noticed a beautiful gold ring with a ruby stone and diamonds surrounding it.

“That’s perfect, I’ll propose!” he yelled as all the people stared at him with laughter. He ran into the Shop and asked the man on the desk to buy it, as he peered at the beautiful stone glistening in the moonlight. Meanwhile Mary was playing on her net book whilst skyping with her best friend, trying to decide what to do to cure her boredom without her beloved Joseph to entertain her with his hilarious jokes when unexpectedly she was receiving a video call from GOD! She put her best friend on hold and answered the video call.

“Hello?” she answered.

“Hello, Mary! I am god and I would like to ask you for a favour?” he politely asked.

 “anything for you God, I don’t mind!” she agreed with joy.

“could I impregnate you with my son? I know it sounds strange but my son needs to come on earth to monitor behaviour, I will send him through the camera, is that ok?”

“yes, ok God but Joseph will think I cheated on him because we swore not to have a child until we are married, he won’t believe me, what shall I do?” she asked with fear.

“Don’t worry I’ll explain it to him now!” he announced as he hung up the video phone.

Joseph walked happily out of the shop ready to propose on Christmas day, he turned a corner into the town square when he heard someone calling his name; he looked around with wonder because no one was there, when noticed a television in a shop window with god on it.

“Joseph!” God called.

“GOD!” he shouted filled with shock.

“yes Joseph it is I, i have came to bring you some news, I am having a son, Jesus and i asked Mary if she could carry the child she agreed, she informed me to tell you so you didn’t think she cheated on you!” his basely voice beckoned through Joseph’s ear like a loud drum.

“Ok, well thank you for notifying me, I am very grateful!” he replied.

9 months later...

“Good evening Birmingham it’s the 25th of December, merry Christmas! And it’s going to be a cold one stick around for weather with Lucy!” yelled a news reporter on the flat screen television in the store.

“What are we going to do Joseph? I’m in labour and all the hospitals are closed for Christmas!” asked Mary with fright. When suddenly an old stable glowed so brightly it almost blinded them.

“Joseph, Mary! Here you are to give me my child in here!” God yelled.

“I can’t give birth in here I need a TV and my iPad!” she refused.

“Mary, I am the most powerful being on the universe i think i know best!” he forced her.

After a few hours Jesus was born, he was the most beautiful baby ever seen by Mary’s eyes, they all were a family together as Joseph proposed shortly after and They all lived happily ever after!  

by Jordii Betts