The Modern Christmas Story

One day in South London, a woman called Mary received a strange text telling
her she was to have a baby who she must call Jesus. So Mary forwarded the
text onto her partner: Joseph. Joseph came round later that day. Then, when
they were watching East Enders, Mary suddenly started to have a stomach
ache. So Joseph went onto his Apple Mac and looked on Google Maps for the
nearest hospital. It was Queen Mary¹s Hospital, which seemed appropriate so
they went to his new 7-seater merc and went there. But, when they got there
it was busy and Mary didn¹t have any NHS Insurance, so they pulled over in
the nearest lay-by.

Meanwhile, in Sidcup, three teenagers were tweeting to each other on
twitter, when they received a weird tweet saying they must find a new born
baby called Jesus in a lay-by near Queen Mary¹s Hospital and to give gifts
to the baby who was called Jesus, although, they must not tell the Queen,
which seemed weird. But, they were all transfixed by this beautiful girl
called Gabriel, so they decided to do as she said. So, they all managed to
fit in the Smart car and typed into the Tom Tom; Queen Mary¹s Hospital, and
soon they found the lay-by. One brought an iphone 4, one brought an itunes
voucher of £50 and the last one brought Jesus an electric guitar. Then they
all bowed down to him and prayed for him to have good luck (and for the
beautiful Gabriel to turn up) and went back to play Call of Duty: Black Ops
on Xbox Live.
Mary, Joseph and Jesus all went back into the merc listening to Now 77, and
had a great time. Plus, who knew Jesus could dance? He¹s only a kid

And  so, Jesus Grew up to be the anointed one: Jesus Christ.

by Jake Carrick